Chasing Happiness Is Making You Miserable

A few years ago, I had a moment.

Not the big “crying on the floor” kind.
It was quiet. Subtle.
I was sitting in my car outside a gym I never walked into, eating a protein bar I didn’t want, scrolling reels of people “living their best life.”

And I remember thinking:

I was reading all the books.
Stacking my habits.
Setting goals.
Manifesting.
Healing.
Chasing that damn carrot we call happiness.

But the more I chased feeling better…
The worse I felt.

The lie is this:
If you do everything “right,” you’ll finally feel good all the time.

But that’s not how life works.
Or how humans work.

Happiness isn’t something you achieve.
It’s something you notice.
Usually when you’re not hunting it.

The dopamine trap is real.

We start chasing highs:
— the next hit of motivation
— the perfect routine
— the relationship that’ll fix everything
— the vacation to “finally unwind”
— the goal that’ll prove we’re enough

But it never lasts.
And the crash hits harder every time.

Until one day you realize:
You weren’t chasing happiness.
You were running from discomfort.

Here’s what changed for me:

I stopped asking “what would make me happy?”
And I started asking:

That one question rewired my life.

Because happiness is a byproduct.

It’s not a place. It’s a symptom.
It shows up when you’re aligned with your values.
When you’re doing something hard, and honest, and real.

Like rebuilding discipline.
Or saying no to comfort.
Or following through on the things you promised yourself, even when no one’s watching.

And those moments?
They don’t always feel good.
But they do feel right.

If you’ve been feeling off lately…

Maybe it’s not that you’re lazy or broken.
Maybe you’re just tired of chasing a feeling.

Start chasing something meaningful instead.

One action.
One system.
One truth at a time.

Your joy will catch up with you.

Reader Poll:

What are you actually chasing right now?

A. Clarity
B. Peace
C. Consistency
D. Recognition
E. Just trying to feel something again

(Login or subscribe to participate.)

Final Thought:

You don’t need to “feel good” all the time.
You need a direction you can believe in—even when you don’t feel like moving.

That’s not toxic positivity.
That’s self-respect.

Happiness isn’t the goal.
Alignment is.

And that… changes everything.

Stay grounded,
Linford