You’re Not Stuck. You’re Just Believing a Lie.

She thought the reason she wasn’t moving forward was fear.

Fear of rejection.
Fear of failure.
Fear of looking foolish.

And on the surface, it made sense. Fear is the easy villain. It’s sharp. It’s obvious. You can point at it and say, “That’s the problem.”

But if you looked closer, it wasn’t fear that had her frozen.
It was the story she told herself about fear.

The story that said: “Once I’m fearless, then I can start.”
The story that said: “Fear means I’m not ready yet.”
The story that said: “Other people don’t feel this, only me.”

She’d sit staring at the blinking cursor on her screen, heart racing, telling herself she was “waiting for the right time.”

But the truth? Fear didn’t keep her stuck.
The lie did.

We’re Wired for Self-Deception

At the 100th floor of The Edge in Manhattan, there’s a glass floor where tourists can look straight down at the city below. They know it’s safe. Yet most recoil. Some refuse to step out at all.

It’s the same with fear. Our brains run on old wiring. What feels like danger rarely is. But the body doesn’t wait for logic—it reacts to the story.

Philosopher Tamar Gendler calls this “alief”—when what we feel overrides what we know. Put simply: it’s why you still jump during a horror movie even though you know it’s fake.

Psychologist Justin Barrett calls it evolution’s “better safe than sorry” hack. Back when a rustle in the grass could mean a tiger, this wiring kept us alive.

Today, it just means we lie to ourselves constantly.
We call it fear when it’s really the lie beneath it:
“I’m not ready.”
“I’m broken.”
“I need more time.”

The Lies We Love

Here are three of the most common:

Lie #1: “Once I Get X, I’ll Finally Be Happy.”
Milestones don’t complete you. They just reset the finish line. Contentment is a practice, not a destination.

Lie #2: “If I Had More Time, I’d Do It.”
No, you wouldn’t. Time doesn’t create action—priorities do. Your calendar already tells the truth about what matters to you.

Lie #3: “I Can’t Live Without…”
Humans are absurdly adaptable. The things you think you need? You’d adjust without them in weeks. What you really can’t live without is self-trust.

How to Break Free

Next time you feel fear holding you back, don’t ask, “How do I get rid of this fear?”
Ask instead: “What’s the lie underneath it?”

Then run it through this quick filter:

1. Catch it. Write down the exact sentence looping in your head.

   • Example: “I can’t start until I feel ready.”

2. Challenge it. Is that a fact—or just a story you’ve rehearsed?

3. Change it. Swap it for a frame that keeps you moving.

   • “Readiness doesn’t come before action. It comes from it.”

   • “I didn’t fail. I got feedback.”

Each reframe doesn’t erase the fear—it reclaims your power from the lie.

Final Thought

Fear is uncomfortable. But it isn’t the enemy.
The real trap is believing the lie underneath it.

Because when you strip away the lie, fear stops being a stop sign.
It becomes a compass.

Pointing you exactly where you need to go next.

— Linford