It’s Draining, Isn’t It? The Constant “What-Ifs”...

The Psychology of “What If”

We’ve all been there…

Wondering how life would look if you’d just done that one thing differently.

Sometimes it’s the big stuff—like taking that job across the country, leaving the relationship, or chasing a risky dream.

Other times it’s small:
Missing your exit.
Failing that test.
Sending that text you wish you hadn’t.

Psychologists call this counterfactual thinking—your brain’s habit of mentally rewriting the past.

Basically, it’s your mind playing director of the “coulda-shoulda-woulda” movie… and forcing you to binge-watch it on loop.

Sometimes, it helps you grow.

But too often? It drags you into exhausting spirals of anxiety, regret, and frustration.

Where It Starts

These thoughts happen in your brain’s prefrontal cortex—the decision-making hub.

Every “what if” is your brain test driving an alternate timeline:

• “What if I’d spoken up?”

• “What if I stayed?”

• “What if I didn’t quit?”

It’s not random—it’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you.

But it’s also why you feel mentally stuck.

The Two Types of “What Ifs”

Psychologists say there are two types:

• Upward: Imagining how it could’ve been better

• Downward: Imagining how it could’ve been worse

Here’s a famous study:
Olympic medalists were ranked by happiness.

• Gold? Thrilled.

• Bronze? Happy—they avoided missing the podium.

• Silver? Miserable—fixated on almost winning gold.

Wild, right?
Silver medalists obsessed over what they lost, not what they achieved.

So… Helpful or Harmful?

Counterfactual thinking has a double edge:

✅ Helps you learn & adjust
❌ Triggers regret and emotional spirals

If left unchecked, it can quietly drain your focus, energy, and joy.

The Fix: Flip the Script

You can’t stop these thoughts—they’re wired into us.

But you can use them to your advantage.

Here’s how:

When you catch yourself spiraling about how it could’ve been better…
Flip it.

Force yourself also to imagine how it could’ve been worse.

It’s not toxic positivity—it’s a matter of perspective.

Missed that dream job? Maybe you dodged a nightmare office.

Still thinking about your ex? At least you’re not pretending to care about their crypto obsession.

If your brain insists on playing “what if” games, make it play both sides.

Reader Poll: How Do You Stop Overthinking?

We all have our go-to moves when we spiral.

Which one’s yours?

A. Reframing—reminding yourself it could’ve been worse
B. Taking action—focusing on what’s next
C. Talking it out—with a friend, mentor, or therapist
D. Mindfulness—journaling, meditation, or breathwork
E. Other—movement, hobbies, or creative outlets

👇 Hit reply and let me know.

Final Thought: Use the Past, Don’t Live There

Your past is a place to learn—not a place to live.

Next time your brain whispers “What if I’d done it differently?”
Pause. Breathe. Flip the script.

Because the only timeline that matters?
The one you’re living right now.

See you next week.

Linford  Founder Mindset.Mirage