You Already Know. You’re Just Afraid to Admit It.

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It’s Not Clarity You’re Missing. It’s Courage.

He already knows.
He’s just afraid to admit it.

That this relationship isn’t growing him.
That this job stopped challenging him two years ago.
That the version of himself he’s protecting is the thing keeping him stuck.

It sounds noble, right?
Wanting to be sure.
Wanting to have all the puzzle pieces before moving.

But certainty is the drug that kills momentum.
And overthinking is just fear dressed in logic.

I decided that would be my compass this year—
because as a professional overthinker, I’ve stayed in relationships, jobs, and cities longer than I should have.
Not out of love, but out of safety.

I remember sitting in my car outside work, convincing myself that playing it safe was wisdom.
It wasn’t.
It was fear in a business suit.

And that’s exactly what kept me small.

We call it being “careful.”
We call it being “wise.”
But most of the time, it’s just fear wearing a respectable name tag.

The Myth of the Right Decision

Chasing happiness is a terrible GPS.
It panics every time the path gets uncertain.

Happiness, as a compass, is too easily hijacked by fear.
It rewards familiarity.
It hates disruption.
But growth loves disruption.

And growth, unlike happiness, is measurable.
It has receipts.
You can feel it in your bones.

Ask anyone who’s ever left something safe and good-ish for something uncertain and meaningful—
it didn’t feel “happy.”
It felt like a panic attack in a parking lot.
Because growth hurts first.

The Real Question

A friend once asked me if she should leave a job that paid well, looked impressive, but made her feel numb.
I asked her one thing:

She quit two weeks later.

That question became my litmus test for everything—
relationships, projects, environments, even how I spend my weekends.

Because if you’re shrinking, it doesn’t matter how good it looks on paper—
you’re dying a little inside.

When Thinking Becomes Hiding

If you’re high-functioning, self-aware, emotionally intelligent, you’re probably excellent at disguising fear as logic.
It sounds like:
“I just want to make sure it’s the right choice.”
“I’m still processing how I feel.”
“Let me think about it a little longer.”

But the harsh truth?
You’re not processing — you’re postponing insight into excuses.

And your nervous system eats it up because staying stuck feels safer than uncertainty.

We think if we reflect more, journal more, therapize more, we’ll reach the jackpot of certainty.
But people rarely suffer from lack of insight.
They suffer from insight constipation.

Too much reflection.
Not enough reps.

You don’t become brave by thinking about bravery.
You become brave by doing the thing scared, badly, awkwardly—and surviving it.

And yes, the same rule applies to your craft — clarity comes through motion, not more overthinking.

The Better Compass

Forget happiness.
Ask instead: Will this expand me or shrink me?

That question has carried me through endings, pivots, and leaps that didn’t make sense at the time—
but always made me larger.

Because irreversible decisions don’t trap you.
They free you.
Once there’s no turning back, your mind stops looking for exits and starts looking for possibilities.

Sometimes burning the bridge isn’t reckless.
It’s clarifying.

If You’re Stuck

Don’t ask:
“Will this make me happy?”
“Will this make people like me?”
“Will this make sense to others?”

Ask:
“Will this make me larger or smaller?”
“Am I choosing comfort or growth?”
“If I removed fear from the equation, what would I choose?”

Then make the choice that scares you just enough to prove you’re still alive.

We all have one fear that keeps us stuck pretending it’s logic.

READER POLL
What keeps you stuck the most?
A) Needing to be 100% sure
B) Needing to be liked
C) Needing to avoid discomfort
D) Needing to control the outcome
E) Needing a nap and a sign

Final Thought

Most of the best decisions I’ve ever made didn’t look wise on paper.
They looked reckless—like jumping off cliffs in bad weather with no parachute, just faith and a gut feeling.

But they made me bigger.
They expanded the edges of who I thought I could be.

If you’re waiting for perfect timing, the green light, the guarantee—you’ll wait forever.
Life doesn’t offer clarity in advance.
It offers clarity in motion.

So stop chasing happiness.
Chase what stretches you.
What terrifies you just enough to wake you up.
What forces you to become someone new.

If you’ve been looking for a sign—this is it.

Your nudge.
Your permission.
Your moment.

Say yes to the leap.
And let who you become on the other side astonish you.

See you next week,
Linford

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