Why We Defend the Wrong Things.

He knew the decision was wrong.
Everyone around him knew too.
But he kept defending it.

Not because it made sense—
but because admitting otherwise felt unbearable.

The brain hates being wrong.
Not because it dents your reputation.
But because it threatens your identity.

If I admit my decision was flawed, what does that say about me?
Careless? Foolish? Weak?

So we contort.
We justify.
We rewrite reality.

On the surface, those sound like excuses.
But underneath them is fear.
Fear that admitting the truth would mean creating a new version of ourselves.

My “Cult”

I thought I was smarter than that.
But I was doing the same thing.

I once joined my own cult.
No UFOs.
No doomsday countdowns.

Mine was called law school.

I told myself becoming a lawyer was the respectable path.
Even when I realized I hated the grind, I doubled down.

“This is who I am.
This is success.”

But the cracks showed.

I dreaded Sundays.
My chest tightened before negotiations.
I sat in my car before court thinking:

If this is success, why do I feel like I’m suffocating?

Admitting I was wrong felt like betrayal.
Of my years of work.
Of my family’s pride.
Of my own story.

But here’s the paradox:

The moment I said it out loud—
I was wrong—
I felt lighter.

The chains loosened.
For the first time in years, I could breathe.

The Cost of Dissonance

Here’s the lie: admitting you’re wrong makes you weak.
The truth: it makes you free.

When you deny being wrong, you chain yourself to the very thing that’s killing you.

• Cult members doubled down when their prophecy failed.

• I shackled myself to a career I hated.

• You might be shackling yourself right now.

To a relationship.
A job.
A path that doesn’t fit.

And the cost isn’t just wasted time.
It’s wasted life.

The Experiment

Scientists don’t crumble when a hypothesis fails.
They don’t whisper, “I’ve wasted my life.”

They update.
They evolve.

What if you did the same?

A failed career path.
A draining relationship.
A dream that fizzled.

That isn’t failure.
It’s feedback.
It’s reality saying:

Try another experiment.

A well-lived life isn’t about being flawless.
It’s about being bold enough to test.
Retest.
Evolve.

Because life isn’t about being right.
It’s about being brave enough to rewrite who you are.

Final Thought

What decision are you defending right now—
because admitting the truth would mean rewriting your identity?

That’s where your freedom begins.
That’s where your next identity starts.

PS:
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